Ouch!

Well, it was bound to happen. Thankfully it was only from 14hh, not 17hh! :) It has been about 6 months since I fell off Sweetie, and today I took a tumble from green GREEN unpredictable Kiley, who sadly is now my former foster horse.

I went to visit her at the trainer's, where the trainer had come to the conclusion that she is unpredictable and needs a bunch of slow, walking work before doing more - and to possibly never be adopted as a riding horse. I heard about it second hand, and went to the trainers thinking the best of Kiley, that maybe she had been overfaced in a few short weeks, and that maybe she had learned to trust me enough that she might trust me more than a trainer, and be more willing for me.

I was wrong.

Kiley has issues - and the trainer saw the same things I had. Although she has a corneal scar in her left eye, she acts like she sometimes sees things suddenly from her right eye - and is very nervous on her right side. Kiley was on her best behavior (as good as she had been for the trainer) when I got there -and she had clearly learned a lot - about having her ears handled, and being ridden. The trainer rode her in the roundpen at the walk and trot, and Kiley seemed fine at those speeds. She kicked/bucked once, but it was not major. And she seemed quiet at the walk and trot so long as you went to the left. But the trainer did tell us that she had taken off bolting (jumping forward) in the field for no apparent reason after being good for more than a week. I got on her and walked, and she was good but nervous. When I asked her to trot (with the smallest of verbal cues, and the lightest ask with my leg) she took off bolting - jumping forward suddenly - for no apparent reason, and I came off - and landed on my tailbone. OUCH! So, I'm sore.

I don't normally let a fall discourage me, but I can explain to you exactly what caused every other fall I have had. (A horse shied from a specific thing, I was not balanced, oh, and then there was the one where I didn't tighten the girth enough... many others) But Kiley's response was unprovoked, and she had also done this before. Been fine, and then suddenly for no reason acted crazy and bolted like her life depended on it. Every other horse I have fallen from has been a specific shy, or a refusal at a fence or such.

I wanted so badly to be "the one" that got through to Kiley - that maybe she had trust in me that she had not found elsewhere. I have never hit her or hurt her in any way, and have always been calm. There are only two times that I have ever raised my voice at her, both when I felt my welfare was briefly threatened and it was necessary. And although she recognized me when she saw me at the trainer's, there was no nicker of recognition, no movement to suggest that she desired to interact with me.

Another thing that the trainer mentioned is that when she feels threatened, she often moves into the person, instead of away from someone. Both she and I got the feeling that Kiley does what she has to in order to survive, but nothing beyond that, and that she is not a "people" horse. I would think that after being at my place for over a year that she might have become more attached, but it just wasn't the case.

I had to really think about what to do. The trainer very specifically said that she would not recommend Kiley be adopted as a riding horse - that she could really hurt someone if they had their guard down and Kiley decided to bolt like she did today. (I guess that was me, eh?) That she was completely unpredictable with her "episodes" - there was no trigger - she did not have a bit in her mouth during any of them. And as much as I wanted to help her, I knew after falling that I would never get on her again. And I probably would have a little more fear towards her and what she might do from here on. And then I thought of my kids, and realized I have always told them to stay away from Kiley and be extra careful around her. Now, I am extra careful as well and don't put them in that position - they are never unsupervised around the horses, but whenever we go out to the barn I have been clear to remind them to not get close to her, that she might kick. I recall mentioning in this blog earlier that Kiley treated the kids like she would a dog - I have seen her pin her ears at them before. I don't fear for myself around her because I can catch on to her cues and I am experienced, but the kids still haven't picked up on all the subtle equine body language.

Anyways, thinking of the kids made the decision a no-brainer. I feel I have done as much as I can for her - I helped bring her back from a BC of 3 (she was a 1 when she was first found stray), and she has gained a ton of muscle back over the last year. I was able to work with her so that she was no longer afraid of being groomed, and stood well for the farrier. She became very relaxed about her daily routine, lets me catch her anywhere on the property. But I have done all that I can - at least, all I feel I can do safely.

Kiley will have her right eye evaluated by a vet to make sure that her vision is not impaired on that side, and then hopefully find another foster home soon. I assume she will probably be considered available for adoption as a companion only. She is a beautiful mare, and would make a lovely pasture ornament and companion to another horse. She has been well behaved for me on the ground, it's just the riding that is the issue. And that she doesn't really seem to like the kiddos (but I can't really blame her - they are crazy sometimes, and she's more nervous than some horses). I pray that she behaves herself and someday finds the right person for her.